My blog started as a way to highlight my career as a designer and my memories along the journey. When the Coronavirus hit, my blog seemed somehow less important. I still want to get back to it, but I had so many emotions and felt so isolated that changing the path of the blog seemed somehow therapeutic. Even though, I didn’t think anyone else was reading it, I felt less alone and isolated by sharing my feeling here. It’s odd that it also took a turn, and I somehow end-up talking about, or referring to my mother, A LOT. I didn’t know it was going there, but maybe I have subconsciously morphed my blog into my own version of self-therapy, due to isolation.
I can’t tell for sure but with each post Im becoming more aware that we are traveling to a yet unknown destination.
So Virginia took a vacation! That’s what I call it when my mom goes to the hospital. She had a husband and 3 kids and we never went on vacation. Never, not once while we were growing up. I think my dad hated to be in the car with us. We also had a dog and two ponies, and asking for someone to take care of them, while we went on vacation, would have been unheard of back then. Anyway, the only time my mom got a break was when she had a health issue and went to the hospital. When there, everyone took care of her, and to her, I think it felt like a vacation. She also seemed to enjoy it, which is how I started to refer to it as “her vacation”.
So on April 24th, I got a unexpected call from my oldest sister. My mom had fallen. My sister was at my mom’s with the paramedics. She had not been the best at social isolation, just thought cutting back from her road trips was enough, but she continued to find need to venture out for human contact. The truth is she’s just lonely. I’m not sure if she doesn’t get social isolation or just doesn’t care, but it has surely been a struggle to teach a 90 year old about social distancing.
We hesitant to have her go to the hospital. A woman her age, with every high risk factor of the pandemic, checked off, would surely not do well, going to the emergency room in the middle of a pandemic. The paramedics checked her out, they said her vital were normal, and since she refused to go to the hospital, they left.
My sister called again, it seemed like minutes later, to tell me that my Mom fell again and the paramedics were on there way back. My sister and I decided that that there was no way she could be left alone, if she cant stand or be mobile. The decision was actually made for us, when the paramedics came back. They said that when they are called a second time for the same event the person has to go to the hospital.
So, off my mom went, to the center of all things COVID, the EMERGENCY ROOM. She lives in NE Pennsylvania, and although its not a hot spot, like New York City, the county that she lived in has some of the highest case reporting, in the state. This was not going to be a vacation like some of her previous stays. At the hospital, they discovered that she had a fever, not sure how the paramedics missed that. All communication with us was done by phone, she was on her own. The doctors first question was…has she had exposure to Corona? How do you answer that? My response was, not to our knowledge, but she was not self isolating and has been in and around her local community. She was tested for Covid and luckily it came back negative. After a lot of testing she was diagnosed with a UTI and quickly transferred to a non Covid hospital.
NOW, we had to worry that she was exposed while at the emergency room. While she was being treated, I was packing up to go home. We thought she may be weak and figured she couldn’t be left alone. I arrived at her house on Saturday and stared cleaning. She called that evening and said she thought she would be discharged the next day but she still had a fever. The next day she called and said that her fever was gone and the would be discharged as soon as the doctor saw her. Note that my mom is pretty hard of hearing, and sometimes when she cant hear, she tends to fill in the blanks with her own story. I’m beginning to think this is were my creativity comes from. I told her that I was home and would be the one to come pick her up. She called again and said she was being discharged and that I should come right away. I hadn’t heard anything from the doctor, but like a good son…I listened to my mother! I asked her how a discharge works if I cant enter the hospital and she told me they would have her at the door when I pulled up. Now, that didn’t sound right, but, I listened to her anyway.
SO, HOW do you pick up someone being released from the hospital in the mist of a pandemic? I’ve never pick up someone being released in normal circumstances, let alone during a pandemic. Well, Im going to tell you. Im going to note here, that Im sure the staff of all hospitals are overworked and this in no way is a complaint against the staff, it just a funny story. I drive down to the hospital with mask in hand. I follow the sign that says “Patient drop off and pick up”. I park the car in the ten minute parking, no one is around. Its eerily deserted. Inside, I see two fully-masked people sitting at a table. I wait for a few minutes, hoping taht the elevator door open and the wheel out my mother. That didn’t happen of course. I dawn my protective mask and venture towards the door. Crap, its not a automatic door, so I hesitantly reach for the door and open it bare handedly. I walk in, but keep at a safe distance. I tell teh two women that. “Im hear to pick up my mother who is being discharged.” They quickly tell me that they are there only to take peoples temperatures, before allowing them in the hospital. They have no phone or means of communicating to the upper floors. I ask them if this is where they bring patients being discharged and again they emphasized that they are there to take temperatures only and didn’t know anything about how the hospital worked.
I called my mother to let her know that I am outside. She was surprised that I arrived so quickly, even though I spoke to her right before leaving her home. She said that they had to remove her IV , and then they would bring her down.
This is where to story get crazy. Im standing next to the car and Im still not 100% sure that Im in the right place. A woman comes out of the doorway and I ask her if she is an employee there? She says yes and I ask her if this is the correct area to pick up a patient being discharged. She was so nice but tells me that this is only her second day and she really doesn’t know how things operate yet.
I look back at the sign Im standing under and notice that this sign just says PATIENT DROP OFF. The other sign said Pick up and drop off. Now Im pretty sure Im in the wrong spot. I’m trying to be cool, I didn’t want to jump in the car and drive aimlessly. It didn’t look like this area was very big, but it did look like maybe there was another area on the other side. I leisurely walk around and sure-enough, there is a new sign, PATIENT PICK-UP. I move the car to that side to wait.
My sister calls, “Is mom with you?”
“No” I say, “Im still waiting for them to bring her down.” She then informs me that they lost my mom. They went into the room to remove the IV and she was gone. Her roommate said she left and someone saw her get on the elevator. They think she left on her own. Now my mom is a pretty stubborn woman. This totally sound like something that she would do. The hospital said they would find her and that they notified security and they could pull security footage. The manhunt was on! I told my sister that I would wait where I was, and hopefully, she may just walk out the door, unaware that the entire hospital was now searching for her.
As I stood there, something didn’t make sense. How does a 90 year old with walker and an IV pole get out of her room, down a hallway and on an elevator, without someone noticing? Im wondering if the nurse has confused my mom, with another patient, and is trying to bring me the wrong old woman. I thought if my hunch was right and I called my mom’s room, my mom just may answer, unaware that they is a full search in progress. I called her room, and the the nurse answers. The nurse immediately apologizes and tells me she went to the wrong room when she went to check my mother out, that bed was indeed empty. The roommate answered honestly that the patient had left. My mom is found, and they are now bringing her down.
How crazy is that? Texted my sister and let her know that “They found mom”. My other sister was also on the tread, and had no idea they she was lost for a short period.
The nurse, called my sister later that evening and apologized. She was finishing her third twelve hour shift, and took complete responsibility for the mistake. There was no harm done and it certainly makes for a good story. 🙂
Mom is safely at home and luckily did not get the Coronavirus while she was on her latest vacation at not one, but two hospitals.
She is pretty amazing for a 90 year old. I’ll have to come back to the vacations story someday. She keeps a list of all of her surgeries and let me tell you, it is NOT a short list, a lot of vacations over the years!
#ElderParents #Quarantine #socialIsolation
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