Today, I’m jumping in the way back machine and taking you back to the original purpose of this Blog. Starting with my very first job. When I turned 16, my parents told me that summer break was not going to be spent lounging, it was time to get a job. My Mom took me to a local Grocery store, Daring’s Market, and put me in front of the manager. I was an extremely shy kid, but the manager knew my mother well, and I begrudgingly I became a stock boy. I worked 40 hours a week throughout the summer and then in my Junior and senior years of High School. Once graduating I continued there until I decided to attend college. I worked at Daring’s all thorough college in total it was about 7 years. I grew a lot as-a-person in those years. I made a lot of good decisions and just as many bad, but that store became my home, my family. The customers were part of our extended family also as we learned their personalities and shopping routines.
It was a small, family-owned grocery store. I was a fixture there for so long the customers would sometime refer to the owner as, “MY DAD”. Its funny, the owner would never correct them, which taught me, lesson-number-one in customer service. The customer is always right! 😊
There are far too many hilarious, heartwarming, and also frightening stories that I could share about the people and times with my Daring’s family, but today I’m focusing on one. One of my bosses and Daring’s was Joe (Joey) Uzdilla. He was a shorter round sort of man who was strong as an ox. He had been an employee of the store long before I started and was one of the old timer employees that made the store feel warm and inviting. Joey was pretty tough on the kids that worked there. Looking back, I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to run a department staffed by 16yo kids. Joey liked me, eventually. There was a constant turnover of stockboys. If you started at 16 yo, you were probably leaving for college at 18. So most would be there less then 2 years which meant a constant turn-over. At the time, I did not think college was in my future and the longer I worked at the store, the more positions they tried me in. It is scary to think, but at 17, I was sometime responsible to close the store. That meant closing everything, making sure customers and employees left, closing out the registers, and takin care of the cash, locking up and setting the alarm. I’d then drop off the keys to the owner. I would never trust a 17yo with that responsibility today, but back then it was no big deal, and I did it many times without even thinking that it was a huge responsibility for a kid.
I had a lot of respect for Joey. From what I remember, he was in the Navy and lived and took care of his Mom, and worked at Daring’s . He would buy a brand-new Jeep Wagoneer every two years and would pay cash. I was always amazed at that.
I think my work ethic comes from my parents but also from Joey. He gave me way more responsibility then any 16yo should have but trusted that I would succeed.
Once in art school, I work less at the store, but I remember the for Christmas one year I painted a toy truck with the Darings Market logo on the side and gave it to Joey for Christmas. I was proud of my abilities at the time and he seemed tickled that I created it for him. I always pictured that he would have that on a shelf and occasionally look at it and remember me even after so many years had passed.
After graduating college, I never moved back home. I would visit and would always stop to see my second family at Daring’s. Joey was always there. We would check on each other and I would ask how his mon was.
At Christmas, it became a tradition that I would design my own Christmas cards. They started as just little art projects but once I got my first dog, a miniature dachshund named Oyy, all future cards featured her. Back then in the 90’s, you sent a card to everyone you knew, whether you had seen them that year or not. Looking back, it seems like such a weird practice, but traditions die hard. Every year I would send Joey a Christmas card. Id fill him in on significant events in my life. Every year I would get a card from him, signed Joey and Mom.
I’d see him less and less when I visited, and then heard that he had retired. His mom had passed, and he was on his own.
The internet and email replaced card swapping for most and stamp price increases just sealed the deal. I finally decided to no longer send bulk Christmas Cards around 2010. There was one person I continued to send a card faithfully every year. The day after Thanksgiving I would send one Christmas card. I knew Joey was alone, his mom had passed, and I don’t think he had other family. I would send that card and sure enough within a few days I would also receive a card from him. Every year Id notice that the handwriting was a little messier but consistently we traded cards. Id always try to add a note, just to say hi or give him the latest update on where I was living or a memory from our time at the store.
In about 2015, the return cards stopped. I was puzzled the first year but shrugged it off. Maybe he was out of cards. Each year after, I would send my card, the day after Thanksgiving, but no return card ever came. I started to think the worst but continued anyway. If Joey had passed, surely someone would return the card to sender, right? I did finally do a google search and an obituary search but luckily there were no results.
During visits home, I would get the urge to drive to Joeys house. I knew roughly where it was, but I never went. Maybe I did not want to know the answer. Sometimes we don’t want to face the inevitable. It’s better to continue to think everything is fine until you can’t deny the truth in front of you. That happened this week. I was late with my card this year. I thought I was out of stamps and with the virus surging, I was hesitant to make a trip to the Post Office. On my day off I decided that I need to take care of my Joey Card. I did a little searching at home and found some stamps I bought, who knows when. I’m set. I got my cards out, I no longer made cards, and just vowed to use up the cards I had left. I made my selection and realized that my address book with Joey’s mailing address was upstairs. To lazy to go retrieve it, I thought I could probably just google his address.
I type in his name and town expecting an address to pop up and the truth slapped me in the face. Joey passed on April 28, 2020 at the age of 92. I could no longer deny the fact in front of me. I can’t explain the next few hours. I was morning someone I have not seen in 31 years. Is that bazar? It seems bazar to me. I somehow was paralyzed by the news. I sat there with the Christmas card in my hand wondering what to do. For some reason, I still wanted to send the card. Maybe I just wanted to pretend that the post was not real. Maybe I didn’t want to close my long friendship. Maybe I wanted to pretend that 2020 as-a-whole wasn’t real. I spent a considerable amount of time thinking back to that time at the grocery store. My mind drifted, do any of those people from back then know that Joey passed. He touched many lives, He was a integral part of the Daring’s family… he was a kind gentle man.
It didn’t mention in his obituary, the cause of death. I don’t know if it was COVID related. Joey lived a long life and Im happy to have been a small part of it. Joey, I’ll miss you. Thank you for everything you taught me all those years ago. And thank you for supporting me as I developed from a 16yo kid making stupid choices to a young man with a career path.
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